MIDWEEK MASHUP: WICKEDEST DUBSTEPS

Mid-Week Mashup (noun): A brief distraction from a steady stream of global news and talking heads; may take on any variation of random forms.

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Good morrow to you, precious bastards! This week’s Midweek Mashup comes to you in the form of:

Super Bass: Dubstep – Wicked Edition

When confined to limited space, such as a work cubicle, or one’s own home during house arrest, one must find ways to stay afloat on the rough seas of normalcy and mediocrity.

Here are some of the wickedest, bass-heavy melodies everyone on cubicle- or house-arrest should employ to maintain at least 63% of his/her sanity. I threw in a bit of techno for good measure – like water, techno is a universal solvent.

Studies show that bass-heavy beats can maintain healthy heart rates, lower cholesterol, and clear ones skin of acne blemishes. Side effects include dizziness, temporary hearing loss, and increased mental acuity. Follow these instructions immediately for the full experience – and at your own risk.

TURN SPEAKERS ON HIGH.

PRESS PLAY.

CLOSE EYES.

ENJOY RIDE.

Still here are you? I know you can’t really hear me right now as your ears are still ringing, but do let me know if your condition has improved at all. I’ll be round to tell you what you missed in news in a few days from now. Cheeri-bum! #GodSavetheQueen

F_UK

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